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fun ways to learn spelling
Elena Geiko: may be found helpful
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Elena Geiko: I have a spelling checker, It came with my PC. It plane lee marks four my revue Miss steaks aye can knot sea. Eye ran this poem threw it, Your sure reel glad two no. Its vary polished in it's weigh. My checker tolled me sew. A checker is a bless sing, It freeze yew lodes of thyme. It helps me right awl stiles two reed, And aides me when eye rime. Each frays come posed up on my screen Eye trussed too bee a joule. The checker pours o'er every word To cheque sum spelling rule. Bee fore a veiling checker's Hour spelling mite decline, And if we're lacks oar have a laps, We wood bee maid too wine. Butt now bee cause my spelling Is checked with such grate flare, Their are know fault's with in my cite, Of nun eye am a wear. Now spelling does knot phase me, It does knot bring a tier. My pay purrs awl due glad den With wrapped word's fare as hear. To rite with care is quite a feet Of witch won should bee proud, And wee mussed dew the best wee can, Sew flaw's are knot aloud. Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays Such soft wear four pea seas, And why eye brake in two averse Buy righting want too pleas. Jerrold H. Zar. Eye halve a spelling checker It came with my pea sea It plainly marques for my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it to say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite It's rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it Eye am shore your pleased two no It's letter perfect awl the weigh My checker tolled me sew. Margo Roark.
Elena Geiko: I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? Others may stumble, but not you, On hiccough, thorough, lough and through? Well done! And now you wish, perhaps, To learn of less familiar traps? Beware of heard, a dreadful word That looks like beard and sounds like bird, And dead: it's said like bed, not bead - For goodness sake don't call it deed! Watch out for meat and great and threat (They rhyme with suite and straight and debt). A moth is not a moth in mother, Nor both in bother, broth in brother, And here is not a match for there Nor dear and fear for bear and pear, And then there's dose and rose and lose - Just look them up - and goose and choose, And cork and work and card and ward, And font and front and word and sword, And do and go and thwart and cart - Come, come, I've hardly made a start! A dreadful language? Man alive! I'd mastered it when I was five!
Elena Geiko: Our Strange Lingo When the English tongue we speak. Why is break not rhymed with freak? Will you tell me why it's true We say sew but likewise few? And the maker of the verse, Cannot rhyme his horse with worse? Beard is not the same as heard Cord is different from word. Cow is cow but low is low Shoe is never rhymed with foe. Think of hose, dose,and lose And think of goose and yet with choose Think of comb, tomb and bomb, Doll and roll or home and some. Since pay is rhymed with say Why not paid with said I pray? Think of blood, food and good. Mould is not pronounced like could. Wherefore done, but gone and lone - Is there any reason known? To sum up all, it seems to me Sound and letters don't agree.
Elena Geiko: Phoney Phonetics. One reason why I cannot spell, Although I learned the rules quite well Is that some words like coup and through Sound just like threw and flue and Who; When oo is never spelled the same, The duice becomes a guessing game; And then I ponder over though, Is it spelled so, or throw, or beau, And bough is never bow, it's bow, I mean the bow that sounds like plow, And not the bow that sounds like row - The row that is pronounced like roe. I wonder, too, why rough and tough, That sound the same as gruff and muff, Are spelled like bough and though, for they Are both pronounced a different way. And why can't I spell trough and cough The same as I do scoff and golf? Why isn't drought spelled just like route, or doubt or pout or sauerkraut? When words all sound so much the same To change the spelling seems a shame. There is no sense - see sound like cents - in making such a difference Between the sight and sound of words; Each spelling rule that undergirds The way a word should look will fail And often prove to no avail Because exceptions will negate The truth of what the rule may state; So though I try, I still despair And moan and mutter "It's not fair That I'm held up to ridicule And made to look like such a fool When it's the spelling that's at fault. Let's call this nonsense to a halt."
Elena Geiko: WHY ENGLISH IS SO HARD TO LEARN We must polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. This was a good time to present the present. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. I did not object to the object. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. The bandage was wound around the wound. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. The buck does funny things when the does are present. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. After a number of injections my jaw got number. Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? I read it once and will read it agen I learned much from this learned treatise. I was content to note the content of the message. The Blessed Virgin blessed her. Blessed her richly. It's a bit wicked to over-trim a short wicked candle. If he will absent himself we mark him absent. I incline toward bypassing the incline.
Elena Geiko: English Rime Words, by Helen Bowyer. For the most part, they fall into three classes: 1. Eye rimes like "have" and "gave". 2. Ear rimes like "vigor" and "trigger". 3. Eye and ear rimes like "metal" and "petal". The following couplets have eye rimes. Notice what happens when they are read aloud. Diver River, by Helen Bowyer. I wish you were A long with us here, Hale and limber as we are, Glad and gay and free from care; You would love it here, I know With the Spring upon us now. Everything we need we have And, oh, the precious hours we save For the things we really love, But for which we vainly strove, Pressured by the noisy rush Of the city's whirl and push. Oh come, dear friend, do come Here with us to make your home. [Also in SPB Summer 1976 p18] The Hired Man, by Anon. Our hired man named Job Has got a pleasant job, The meadow grass to mow And stow it in the mow. At work he takes the lead, He does not fear cold lead, Nor is he moved to tears When his clothing tears. A book that he had read He handed me to read. He spends much time in reading When not at home in Reading. The homografs in the above would be eliminated by fonetic spelling.
Elena Geiko: THESE ENGLISH WORDS OF OURS, by Helen Bowyer TAWL TALES FROM OALD TRENCHES. But I one-der, my dear Kernal, That you dont publish the jolonel That you wrote in the infirnal Days of World War One, With shot and shell alighting On the page that you were rye-ting And a rat or two abighting At your pen. You myt make a lot of dough From yure royalties and sew Could peh up awl yue oh Around thease parts And ewer credit, now at zero Would zoom from heer to Clear Row And ewe'd bee again the herough Of aul hearts. Soe at it, migh dere Cournel Get busy on that gernal That yew roat in the infolonel Days of Were-ld Wore Won, With schott and shell a-lye-ting On the peige that yooh were weighting And a rat or tew a-buy-ting At yoor pen.
Elena Geiko: Under the SPELL of English, by Arthur Bennett Would you like to be Carnegie's heir, With never a worry or ceir? That most of us would is well understould. One who would not would surely be reir. When one makes a hole in eight It's a very sad story to releight Bad work with the putter and he will mutter "I'll correct that at some leighter deight." Once there was an infantry colonel Who fought where the blitz was infolonel Want to know the result? You'd better consult The obituary writ in the Jolonel. The groom advanced down the aisle With a smaisle he thought to begaisle The crowd into thinking he wasn't shrinking But was scared to death all the whaisle. A poem is writ word by word; May be lofty, or may be absord, May picture the sea, or a bord wild and frea, Or tell of hope long deford. If a fellow is a regular guy He'll aim for marks way up huy He'll push to the top of the hill, witha will Never pausing to loiter or suy. Kayak and Seabiscuit raced They were urged to move and make haced But for humans to hurry, speed up or, worry Would be breaking the rules of good taced, What causes a horsie to neigh, And what causes a donkey to breigh? Is it because of their diet they shatter our quiet Or for pride in their vocal displeigh? To fly a plane over the ocean Is possibly not a bad nocean. Such a perilous flight will turn out all right If you are able to keep up the mocean. Look back at the deeds you have done, Tale stock of your griefs and your fone. Can you really feel pride and frankly decide You approve of the race you have rone? Sent in by Mrs. Ethel Hook, Palm Springs, Calif.
Elena Geiko: Professor P. Dantick's Dictum on Spelling, (as caught by this arrant reformer, H.B.) Sacred is the b in limb, Hallowed is the n in hymn, Sanctified the k in knot, The gh in laugh and thought, Consecrate the g in gem, The ph in phone and phlegm, Yet there be irreverent meddlers From Bernard Shaw to ice-cream pedlars, Who would respell even busy Just to line it up with dizzy. Who'd e'en contest the right of who To start itself with w, And would chop the final e's From give and have and please and freeze. WHY? They claim the shocking frequency Of juvenile delinquency Stems largely from poor Mat and Milly Who simply cannot get the silly Inconsistency of whole, With knoll and goal and bowl and soul....
Elena Geiko: Our Wealth of English Homonyms, by Helen Bowyer. Owe that eye mite bee that be Winging hur weigh oar the see, Oar the waives sew bright and blew, With the fishes glinting threw, Sea-ing pour-poises at play, Here-ing the see-hoarses nay, Passing I-lands green and fare, With myrrh-mades on them hear and their, And sumtimes sea a killer whale Cinque a wore-ship with it's tale. Owe that eye mite bee as free Two go winging ore the see!
Elena Geiko: Scenes on a Playground - English Orthography Illustrated A letter addressed to: John Sharp, Friends' School, Park Lane, Croydon, 7th Mar. 1844 'Twas a fine winters day - their breakfast was done And the boys were disposed to enjoy some good fone; Sam Sprightly observed, "'tis but just ½ past eight "and there's more time for play than when breakfast is leight, "and so I'll agree that so cold is the morning, "We'll keep ourselves warm at a game of stag worning; "I'm Stag" - with his hand in his waistcoat he's off, And his playmates are dodging him round the pump-troff. Sam's active but still their alertness is such That 'twas not very soon ere one he could tuch. The captive's afrailed with jokes, buffets laughter By a host of blithe boys quickly follows aughter. But joined hand in hand their forces are double; Nor for jokes or for buffeting care they a bouble. All's activity now, for high is the sport, Reinforcements arrive from the shed & shed-cort. More are caught & their places they straightway assign At the middle or end of the lengthening lign. To break it some push with both shoulder and thigh, But so firm is the hold that vainly they trigh; Oh! 'tis broken at last, now scamper the whole To escape their pursuers & get to the gole. All are caught now but one of the juvenile hosts And he, a proud hero, vain-gloriously bosts, But hark! the clock's striking & then by the rules They must quickly collect for their several schules. We'll leave them awhile at their books & their sums And join them again when the afternoon cums. ..-o0o-.. Now dinner is over - "Sam Sprightly," says he, "Let us form a good party for cricket at thre;" Says Joseph, "I wish you'd begin it at two, "For after our dinner I've nothing to dwo." But Thomas would rather 'twere fixed an hour later Because he's on duty as dinning room water; And so they agreed to meet punctual at four, On the green just in front of No. 1 dour, & they thought they should muster not less than a scour. Sam goes on recruit, "Will thou join us my hearty?" "Yes" says Richard. "I'll gladly make one of the pearty." "And William must join, he's a capital bowler," "He'll have finished his work by that time as bed-rowler." "Come Joseph, thou'll join" - but Joseph languidly said, "I can't for I've got such a pain in my haid, "I think I should find myself better in baid." "There's Alfred", says Sam, "I know he will choose." He said he was sorry the pleasure to loose, But he was appointed to black the boy's shoose. They next ask a boy of more sober demeanour, But he too's in office - they call him knife-cleanour, "Well Jim thou'll go with us." "No, asking thy pardon, "I'd rather by far go and work in the gardon, "For there we get pay - perhaps a nice root, "Or what I like better - a handful of froot. "So you'll not enlist me - I'm not a rectoot." "There's Charles." but alas! poor unfortunate wight, He's confined to the lodge, - he regretted it quight. Tho' Frank's a long lesson of grammar to learn, He'll set it aside not to miss such a tearn; Some join in the party - but some are too busy. One does not like cricket, it makes him so dusy. But now there's enough - so says Sam, "Now my boys, "Just listen to me - don't make such a noys; "The High field's the place - & I do not despair "If the teachers we ask, they will let us play thair, "So while I get the bats & the ball I propose, "That Alfred or Richard or somebody gose, "And presents our request - making this a condition, "We'll all be good boys if they grant us permition. "Here's the ball & the bats - just look what a beauty. "Well Taff, what reply from the master on deauty?" "Oh! granted" - "That's right - that is capital news; "Indeed I knew well they would never refews." So now they're at play - and I think you've enough Of such spelling, such rhyming, such whimsical stough, And therefore lest you gained from my verse should inveigh, I'll bid you farewell, leaving them to their pleigh. John Smith, Akworth Yorkshire, from the library of Sir James Pitman, K.B.E.
Elena Geiko: Eye Rhymes, by Helen Bowyer Bear and dear Share, I fear The pointless deceptivness Of there and here. Some and home Tomb and comb, Sin against the tongue Like from and whom. Howl and bowl Foul and soul, Mislead the ear Like doll and toll. Give and dive Live and thrive, Bewilder the moppet Of six or five. Love and hove Dove and strove Sound no more alike Than glove and cove. Pew and sew Do and go Fail expectation Like now and slow. Laid and said Must be read As if they rhymed With neighed and Ned.
Elena Geiko: Who's to blame? by E. E. Arctier "Oh, you English-speaking people With your sieze and tease and steeple With your you and who and glue And your two and shoe and flew, Continue with your whom and tomb Gloom and plume and even rheum. Torment your little Tom and Terry With your misspelled bomb and bury With your go and foe and dough And your sew and tow and know. Come and dumb and home and foam Torn and warn and tomb and comb, Sir and purr and fur and myrrh. And still we keep our eye and guy Our much and touch our whole and bowl Our flower and your, our coal and soul."
Elena Geiko: Competition Results. 2. From Mr. P. H. Horner, Education Dept., Rolle College, Exmouth, Devon. HOW DOES THE REVEREND OUGH PRONOUNCE HIS NAME? It must be rather rough to be addressed as Reverend Ough. Or do you politely cough and say, 'No, I pronounce it Ough'? Yet if you lived in Slough you'd be known as Reverend Ough. While the priest by Irish lough is addressed as Father Ough. But I rather think it, though, that you're simply known as Ough. Still, I think I've said enough Mr. Oh, Ow, Ock or Uff. 3. From Miss Helen Bowyer, Los Angeles, California, USA. That Dear Ph. Phaster, phaster pflecks the phoam, Pharther, pharther phrom my home, Phlying phishes, phirs agleam, Over there ... to lepht ... to right, A seacow with her calph in phlight, While phull ahead phour dolphins play, Phantastically phleet and gay. And pharther ophph, is that a whale Phlipping up his phearphul tail? Oh, my phirst phoray o'er the sea, How phabulous you pheel to me! Phlashing up phrom the Gulph stream;
Elena Geiko: There was a man named David Byrd Whose courage rose when he was stirred; Thus all his friends to him referred As quite first class, not second or third. Then one day David gave his word To join a pal whose name was Ferd. And though it all seems quite absurd, Some dreadful thing must have occurred. For nothing more was ever heard Of David Byrd and his pal Ferd.
Elena Geiko: The Chaos by Gerald Nolst Trenite Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal. Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation -- think of Psyche! Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough -- Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!
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